THURSDAY, OCTOBER 31st, 2024

i'm going insane, do you want anything?
this week has been rough, i'm having back problems at the geriatric age of 26, when the years of bad posture and long hours on my computer are finally catching up to me. i just took an ibuprofen, a fat nap and scheduled a doctor appointment. if only that was the only issue, but i'm sure astrology explains a lot of what's going on lately.
a month ago i said yes to giving a lecture at a university and now the date is approaching and the imposter syndrome is eating me alive at the same time that i feel like i can't let this opportunity go. on the other hand, my boyfriend is doing job interviews to secure a job overseas as we want to move abroad, the waiting and anticipation is the worst, cause i feel like my mind and spirit are already there, while my body is still in this old town i grew up in and desperately want to get out from. the dicotomy sucks, i feel paralyzed by my dreams and aspirations. i feel like i stopped having fun in my 20s way too early and life is now just an endless amount of work and back pain. i can't complain, i love what i do, i manifested it all. i'm miserable and i'm thriving. am i? who am i? anyways, fun! lana was so right when she wrote the ride monologue and i need not to expand on that thought.

happy halloween, adulthood is the scariest thing i can think of.

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 23rd, 2024

hello? is this thing on? i'm kidding this is not a mic, it's a blog. in 2024!!
i know, blogs never left, only i did. but i'm back i guess? finding neocities was the highlight of the month to be honest. i've been hyperfixated on creating cute pages and finding other cute pages to follow since i did. if you're here, i really appreciate you.
i literally grew up having blogs, my first one was in 2007 and it was a jonas brothers fanclub, which is hilarious cause i knew nothing about them, i had just watched camp rock and thought joe was cute (yes i was a joe girly). after i realized running a fanclub wasn't as fun if you're not an actual fan, i moved on to having digital diaries. there was absolutely zero things going on in my life during middle school so i honestly have no idea what i was writing about on those, but i kept it for years, i'd do anything to reread it now. i also had a fashion and beauty blog when i was 13, i knew nothing about fashion either, but i was very much faking til i made it cause i had brand deals and PR packages coming my way every week. i shouldn't have dropped that one when i went to high school for fear of being judged...

anyways, all that to say that it feels very familiar being here, like coming home. healing my inner child even. wait, i forgot to introduce myself, i'm a digital artist and that's why this whole thing came to be, i was creating poppy's room, an interactive page to feed my y2k flash games nostalgia and figured why not have a blog in there as well. this is not poppy's blog, it's mine, i'm dawkie, the webmistress.

i'm not sure yet how frequently i'll post here or what topics i'll address, but i'm definitely excited for the ride and i want to keep filling the pages up with cool stuff. see you next time!